i would like to start us off with,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes 4 days have past but strangely enough I am still glad you were born. your insights bring clarity into my life as well as your spelling. I hope that this specific age is not too arduous for you. i also hope that racism is eliminated. we still haven’t gotten to that yet.. oops! we were this close… um and i’d also like to give my condolences to the alien stage kids? i don’t know what happened but i am sorry.

thing #1: voice messages

sending voice messages is the equivalent of having a destination wedding. i am not going to elaborate because though refraining to be polite is not necessarily being kind, i’m not going to finish this sentence. get edged. BUT SERIOUSLY everytime i get a voice memo i like pause whatever im listening to, listen to the voice memo and like after i’m done i forget to go back to what i was doing 😭 EVERYTIME YOU SEND A VOICE MEMO YOU ARE DISRUPTING MY NATURAL ORDER. sometimes my hearing is like subpar and also like i am not always able to listen to stuff like i enter different locations.. secret, secret locations that would be able to identify you by voice and find you through your recording of “FEIN FEIN FEIN” omg. speaking of. yeah perfect transition i know! i literally get it now. FEIN IS GENUINELY LIKE really funny! OK RACHAEL I KNOW U STILL DON’T BELIEVE BUT LIKE pls listen to it in the dark alone in your room. then you will get it. trust! IT’S LIKE. SO RIDICULOUS. i do not support the guy but like SEPARATE ART FROM ARTISTS!!! omg i’m such a firm believer of isolating art from its creators that i think i go to like kind of extreme measures in order to achieve this? like i am so unparasocial with artists i think it is odd. wow.. i am so quirky…….. anyway moral of the story STOP SENDING ME VOICE MEMOS 😭 THEY ARE DEMONIC.

thing #2: headphones on train (update)

OK I CAN’T LISTEN TO VOICE MEMOS ON THE TRAIN EITHER LIKE STOP. STOP IT. but yeah let’s talk about headphones on trains again … okay guys i mean like yeah. i had a little listen with my silly headphones and it was enjoyable. but it was just like listening to music anywhere else. i liked it because i like the music i listen to but you know what i also like? hearing the train sounds 😭 YOU CAN LISTEN TO MUSIC ANYWHERE ELSE THE TRAIN LITERALLY WORKS SO HARD FOR YOU. PLEASE BE MORE APPRECIATIVE. do i seriously get train noise FOMO? yes AND YOU SHOULD TOO. but anyway i guess listening to stuff on the train is fine.. but like i still don’t understand how you can do it religiously like gang… hit artist beyonce is not going anywhere.. she’ll be waiting for you at home, as always. thank you beyonce 💞 I have a long life to live.. I love ellipses… 

thing #3: plain form + の and japanese in general

you don’t understand. when i found out i could do this it was like my entire world had colour again. DID YOU KNOW THAT IN JAPANESE IF YOU USE A PLAIN FORM OF A VERB AND ADD A NO IT BECOMES LIKE A NOUN?? KIKUNOGASUKIDESU!!!!!!! I LIKE TO LISTEN!!!!!!!!!! this is genuinely revolutionising the language of japanese for me. I want to be the no that noun-ifies a verb… it’s literally so 🙏 anyway on this. i am finalising my decision to try to swap out of japanese. hannah recently did a #ad #sponsored for accounting and like. not knowing what subject to swap into was kind of the only thing stopping me from wanting to switch out of japanese. what also helped is learning other people are dropping it too!! apparently diya would rather do french, a language she has never touched before in order to satisfy the ib stuff. ok i love japanese but like.. doing it at vce level? that is like too stressful. i want it to be something i can enjoy learning and not feel pressured to memorise a whole 15 pages for because that really isn’t teaching me the language at all? that’s just teaching me memorising you know? i’m just not interested in the learning experience vce japanese has to offer. so i guess i will welcome duolingo back into my life or something… but this really was a tough decision because i really do love japanese. i’m literally so unracist it’s not funny. omg but like i also feel like im wasting the past four years of my japanese education like…. that’s how i feel with science too but i hate science so its ok. but i don’t hate japanese 😭 

thing #4: but then… the fire nation attacked (and hridya!)

omg hridya like is rewatching atla for like the 309110th time and i was like ok! I will hop on your train gang! and i literally forgor how funny it is like. yipyipee! HAHA DO YOU GET IT. im sorry. omg seeing suki is like so edge NO WATCHING IT LIKE FROM START IS LIKE EDGE TOO LIKE. omg i just want them all to be living their lives in joy already 😭 and for sokka to like be less of a prick… BUT OK I UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS ESSENTIAL FOR HIS CHARACTER! yay character develop!! i get you must undergo microsoft edge to be rewarded. ok yes back on hridya everyone thank hridya for dpr and singlehandedly funding their royalties before dpr ian’s insane released! i thought i should mention while i am mentioning hridya bc i recently had a summer tights on loop session! ALSO LIKE DPR WE GANG GANG IS SUCH A LINE. yay dpr! yay atla! yay hkc! omg kfc. i haven’t had kfc in so long. 

thing #5: sports

i genuinely believe that everyone who plays a sport is a masochist like. you all always report injuries to me. and it’s not even just like a once a month thing it’s basically every week you suffer some brutal injury all from playing a sport 😭 and you still go back every week without fail… i don’t understand how you have this mental fortitude nor this passion but like i support <3 BUT I ALSO AM CONCERNED LIKE. IS SOMETHING LIKE KEEPING YOU THERE.. i guess i just don’t get it.. like i don’t understand how like mischa has like broken her bones like 20 times for this sport and like still has the willpower to go soccer-ing just to break another bone 😭 i think she genuinely has spent more time with at least one of her bones broken than without.. love is love i guess.. and for athletes maybe that love is pain…

thing #6: secret santas

guys i need to express how much i LOVE LOVE LOVE secret santas. I LOVE THEM.  like ok gift giving is like kind of fun i guess. gift receiving is ok. BUT IT IS GREAT WHEN ITS A SECRET SANTA BECAUSE NOT ONLY DO YOU GET A GIFT YOU FIND OUT WHO HAS BEEN DELICATELY PREPARING YOUR GIFT FOR THE PAST MONTH AS WELL AS WORKING HARD TO KEEP THEIR IDENTITY A SECRET LIKE. i love them! and it’s also nice to not feel pressured to buy EVERYONE a gift! i love the mystery. the suspense. AND I LIKE THE LIKE WAY I GET TO SEE WHAT THEY VIEW OF ME WHEN THEY PICK A GIFT TO BUY secret santas are like such a sacred tradition I love! yes i know halloween hasn’t passed yet. but mariah carey is literally breaking out already so…. omg i love christmas songs too like. i made a christmas playlist a few years ago i should crack it out again!!

thing #7: shin ramen

i am out of shin ramen. I’M LITERALLY GOING TO GO NUTS. OK THERE WAS LIKE NO STOCK AT COSTCO ARE YOU JIDDING ME? ok 5 packs cost more than the 20 packs but like. i will have to take the plunge. i think i lowkey have a problem but that’s ok! and also thanks mia n for offering to donate but its ok! you are an angle but i need to spend my money on something and if that something is shin ramen then so be it! omg and karaoke. stop. karaoke is like my number one money drainer. stop but its so gang! the karaoke people gen know me by now it’s kind of embarrassing. but like i also know them so WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND… that’s not how you use that phrase but i just wanted to say it! forgive me for giving into my silly whims..

thing #8: science

ok first my mandatory I HATE SCIENCE. it’s literally so gross like biology is UASJIDOASOID like i do not want to know what is going on inside of me. spindle fibers are just constantly going at it DON’T YOU FIND THAT GROSS? THAT’S LITERALLY SO.. omg. and like chemistry is not any better like YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT THERE IS EVEN MORE STUFF GOING DOWN TO A MICROSCOPIC LEVEL THAT IS LIKE OCCURRING INSIDE OF ME?? and physics um.. physics is physics. now that thats over with.. OKAY SO for our prac we had some gifted kid program primary schoolers come visit us and like see what we are doing and like wow! that’s fun! why are you talking about this nicole? ok well. we were doing titration and you might be able to see where this is going but literally RIGHT AS THEY WALKED IN, ONE OF THE GROUPS DROPPED A BURETTE AND IT SHATTERED EVERYWHERE OMG. our teacher was literally so red saying ‘um.. that doesn’t normally happen, haha!’ like that was so embarrassing. ok that’s like so indicative of like what being a gifted kid leads to anyway 😆 everything you’ve known will shatter in front of you one day at the worst possible moment! but like i gen don’t understand what the purpose of that excursion was for them anyway. like is it just ego? i mean that’s fine but like they can get ego AND like idk develop skills doing like a workshop or something. idk how watching a bunch of highschoolers was supposed to like be a valuable learning experience for them.. but like what do i know! 

thing #9: retail workers

guys i felt bad for retail workers before, but now? now i lie awake at night thinking about their suffering like. i am so sorry. no one deserves to live like that. OK THEY LITERALLY GO THROUGH SO MUCH AND FOR WHAT. like if i look at them for a second too long in store i literally feel like crying omg. ok but at least now i am less worried about being the perfect customer because SOME CUSTOMERS LITERALLY SUCK LIKE. and its like they couldnt care less about how they are perceived like OK I KNOW THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD THING BUT IT REALLY ISN’T LIKE YOU SHOULD CARE IF PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE A JERK OR NOT BECAUSE THAT PROBABLY MEANS YOU ARE ONE! anyway i literally know how to be like a pleasant customer now but its not like that matters because no matter what i do some other annoying customer will be able to ruin the day of every retail worker i encounter 😭 

thing #10: podcast

yes i am yet again mentioning my podcast! the episode i released most recently is literally one to listen to just to fall asleep.. i will not be solely a sleep podcast but like even recording it made me feel sleepy so like. i think it is kind of effective! and like the audio is like fixed from last time! yay! anyway i am still waiting to make an episode with michelle (one who uses demonic night rituals in order to see in the day) so i will alert you when that happens too! 

https://open.spotify.com/show/0wUnmnuwwPB4FuMxDzPEIX?si=458c3352edff4980 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I AM NOT READY I REALLY AM NOT. i do not want to do exams. but i must….. we all must… oh my god why are we so old like? only two more years. ive literally been doing everything to postpone starting exam revision. like writing this! but back to work i guess.. you too! you’re done reading now so start studying !

i’m serious! do it!

nicole (not doing it..)