hey party people!!!

forgive the odd greeting. the people in body balance wouldn’t shut up about it (bless their hearts). this is pretty soon after the last newsletter update! but i am feeling inspired and really want to procrastinate on my work. anyway lets get to it!! minecraft goes crazy..

thing #1: tomodachi life news 

so i would like to start off with a screenshot from one of the best games of all time. and you might have already seen the screenshot but if you couldn’t tell, MICHELLE AND OCHINCHIN HAD A BABY!!!! 

i would like to talk about their relationship history. michelle and ochinchin got married on the 5th of the march 2024 and went to switzerland for their honeymoon!! ever since they have been living in their own home away from the apartment block of nicole island together. i don’t remember when they became a couple but on the 3rd of march sienna set up ochinchin and jennifer so.. it was not for very long before their marriage!! or maybe sienna set them up knowing ochinchin was taken.. i forgot!! anyway i hope their baby turns out not ugly!! ill go see now.

i hope that harvey grows up to be an upstanding individual!! everyone please do not forget to congratulate michelle on this milestone!!! if you don’t like him michelle it’s ok we can always send him travelling (kill him).

thing #2: pilates

i am doing pilates right now and i am not enjoying it. it might be because i am naturally comparing it with yoga, which i comparatively love with a passion, as they are both based on balancing your body. pilates is too FAST and too PAINFUL, so not gang. move with nicole (the youtube channel) is my enemy 😠 i speak from the bottom of my aching arms. what will i even use core strength on! with yoga i could feel the relaxation #spread ( 😆) through my body. with pilates i feel the burn 🔥 please do not make me extend my body “vertebra by vertebra” again, move with nicole. what exercise do you partake in that you hate with your whole, victim of a body?

thing #3: my battle against shin ramen

ok so when i first tried it i put in the full spice packet. AS I GLANCED upon the pot i recognised that the flavours were intense and the noodles were the optimal size!! to absorb the spice!! it took me an hour and a litre of water to finish eating. 

i have since learned that water makes it worse! and i have also learned that i can only handle half of the spice packet.. but i guess that was obvious! please let me know if you cant handle less, it will make me feel better, more spicy. do people still use spicy in that way? like as in spicy ;)? anyway i think i will never be able to handle spice but i hope to be able to have the whole spice packet in time, manifest for me gang! 

thing #4: bad romance

Want your bad romance

Want your bad romance

I want your ugly

I want your disease

I want your everything

As long as it's free

I want your love (I want your love)

Love, love, love

I want your love (I want your love, I want your love)

I want your drama

The touch of your hand

I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand

I want your love (I want your love)

Love, love, love

I want your love (I want your love, I want your love)

You know that I want you

And you know that I need you

I want it bad, a bad romance

I want your love and

I want your revenge

You and me could write a bad romance

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh)

I want your love and

All your lover's revenge

You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance

Want your bad romance

Want your bad romance

I want your horror

I want your design

'Cause you're a criminal

As long as your mine

I want your love (I want your love)

Love, love, love

I want your love (I want your love, I want your love)

I want your psycho

Your vertigo stick

Want you in my rear window

Baby you're sick

I want your love (I want your love)

Love, love, love

I want your love (I want your love, I want your love)

You know that I want you

And you know that I need you

I want it bad, a bad romance

I want your love and

I want your revenge

You and me could write a bad romance

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh)

I want your love and

All your lover's revenge

You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance

Want your bad romance

Want your bad romance

Want your bad romance

I want your love and

I want your revenge

I want your love

I don't wanna be friends

Je veux ton amour

Et je veux ta revanche

Je veux ton amour

I don't wanna be friends

(I don't wanna be friends)

I don't wanna be friends

(I don't wanna be friends)

No I don't wanna be friends

(I don't wanna be friends)

Want your bad romance

(Want your bad romance)

Want your bad romance

I want your love and

I want your revenge

You and me could write a bad romance

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh)

I want your love and

All your lover's revenge

You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance

Want your bad romance

Want your bad romance

thing #5: 6teen and speeding up shows

this was such a great show. like it is really funny! and kind of cringe at times but that is like more than acceptable for a 2000s show, it is expected! you should watch it. it is very much of slice of life!!! i like rewatched the first episode when calming down for an interview and it was so inspirational. yeah it is a bit of a long watch BUT THE EXPERIENCE WOULD BE RUINED IF YOU SPED IT UP!! ITS A SLICE OF LIFE!!! LIFE IS NOT FAST!! when you speed up shows you have no right to comment on them as you are intentionally not consuming the shows as the creators intended! sometimes the shows might not be what the creators intended anyway but AT LEAST THEN YOU HAVE NO PART IN IT!! speeding up shows is a crime (in minecraft) you are criminal!! 

thing #6: weather

i would like to complain about the weather (omg this is so n4 coded!!). OKAY GANG IF YOU HAVE KNOWN ME FOR A LONG TIME YOU WOULD KNOW ABOUT MY BASICALLY ANNUAL COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE WEATHER. this summer was not that bad but IT STILL CANNOT MAKE UP FOR THE LACKLUSTER COMPLETELY SOULLESS SUMMERS OF YEARS PAST (IM TALKING ABOUT YOU 2021-2022-2023) WE ARE ON A LOSING STREAK AND I AM INFURIATED AND INCREDIBLY COLD!!! HEAT UP!!! WE LITERALLY ONLY GOT A WEEK OF 30+ AND NOW THE SKY IS BACK TO BEING BLEAK OLD MELBOURNE’S SINGLE CLOUDED NOTHINGNESS!!! TO ALL OF YOU PEOPLE WHO COMPLAINED DURING THAT SINGULAR WEEK OF YAY SUN YOU ARE DEMONS!! YOU ARE THE FOUL ONES WHO SCARED THE SUN AWAY!!!!!! PLEASE CEASE THIS PEER PRESSURED CENSORSHIP AT ONCE. EVEN IF IT MIGHT BE A BIT LATE IT IS THE VERY LEAST YOU COULD DO. NONE OF YOU EVEN APPRECIATE WHEN THE WEATHER IS COLD AS HECKERS EXCEPT WHEN ITS PAST HOT DAYS. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE HOT DAYS AS THEY ARE PRESENT? PROBABLY MORE THAN YOU APPRECIATE THE FACT YOU CAN LIVE IN THE SAME UNIVERSE AS I!!!! you don’t appreciate that? what the heck. ANYWAY LIKE YOU GUYS ARENT PRAISING WINTER AT ALL YOU JUST HATE THE HEAT THIS IS TOXIC OK YOU ARE WITH WINTER TO STAY AWAY FROM ASSOCIATING WITH SUMMER!!! WE DIDNT EVEN HAVE HOT DAYS IN SUMMER WE HAD IT LATE AND YOU STILL WERENT HAPPY OK YOU COLD LOVERS GET THE WHOLE YEAR BASICALLY AND YOU CAN EVEN LET US HAVE A WEEK UGH. I COULD GEN TALK ABOUT THE ANGER I HAVE FOR THIS FOR HOURS. arigatou gozaimasu!

thing #7: bank

in 2 months i am going to switch banks. i am not going to tell any of you which bank yet but you might be able to figure it out based on my track history and if you do i will give u a gold star printed in black and white to avoid printing costs :)))) when i DO end up switching i am going to invite you all in chunks to join and i will do it so persistently that you will feel coaxed by my pure drive to join!! i think it is a really #cool bank and i am so excited to switch over!! i will have so much fun with it AND U GUYS CAN HAVE FUN TOO LIKE IT IS SO GANG!! please give me an expression of interest if you would consider switching for me and for your finances!! you don’t even have to switch!! u can just open an account and then u will be so starstruck that you will join too! anyway you guys better join me or i will just be a lone lion watching you sheep from above :(

thing #8:  job seeker section!!

this is for all you people looking for a job!!! i am going to be posting job openings here. please keep me updated on your application statuses <3. anyway! first job opening: staff required at academy brand’s newest outlet at mc!! minecraft! they are basically like a clothing store and the person to contact’s email is [email protected]. but nicole, what do i do with an email?? how do i write one?? what am i supposed to include!! no worries. i love stressing over emails too!! so i can relate (thank you to all the people who have looked over my emails for me <3 you are all #lifesavers). and that brings me to the next section!

thing #9: job seeking emails!!

wow i love how this section is completed unrelated to the last!! okay guys first things first: if you are not pro-email, use chatgpt! it is so #useful! with the right prompts chatgpt will be able to provide you with a tailored response you can put into an email!! this section is basically a tutorial on how to use chatgpt. just make sure to keep your private information confidential (what role you are applying for) by replacing such info with x or y, chatgpt can still give a gang response and all you have to do is edit that x or y in the oh fish shawl email! you just need to like have some common sense to like edit any responses it gives to make them seem more natural. and if you don’t have that, that’s okay!! i don’t have common sense either!! pass it on to one of your friends who DOES have common sense and pay them kindly, the commoners need it. (sorry gang!) you can even ask chatgpt what attachments and/or information you should add! generally adding a resume is pretty necessary! but you should check with chatgpt giving a brief explanation of the role you are aiming to get to see if a cv and cover letter are necessary too! please show me your emails. not to have them edited but just so i can admire them. i love emails. they are the best form of communication.

thing #10: steroids

guys. i reached my limit, and for the steroids. i would like to formally apologise to mischa for making fun of her steroid usage (WITH HER NOT AT HER). and for my lack of dedication to this making fun. for i have now also succumbed! oh well! the stress was like impeding the humour i found in it anyways!!! so now i am less stressed and that should like also help with the #healing process!! i approve of you guys making fun of my steroid usage, maybe not in front of teachers though! “i heard that!” like what was wrong with what livia said! find out next time on what was wrong with what x said! using them is a bit annoying but i guess i am noticing results! modern medicine goes crazy!! if you notice side effects make sure to not point them out to me!! thanks gang! i am not crazy!!

anyway yeah i guess this was a bit of an uneventful newsletter that didnt answer any questions in particular.. oh well! youll live. as will i!! living is crazy, yo. that should be my yearbook quote. did you know i made the entirety of my 2020 yearbook? yeah that’s right, i am a master of all things including use of canva and google forms. i guess a key takeaway from this one is understanding you can’t believe everything you read!! media literacy is SO in because thats only way we can get gen alpha to employ it! :( i would like to apologise for the minecraft goes crazy at the beginning of this!! originally it was supposed to foreshadow a section of the newsletter but i cut it out!! so now it doesnt make sense. i would delete it but i want to leave you wondering what the section was. i bet youll never guess :)

i hate you all,

nicole <3

(RECOGNISE HOW I EXCLUDED THE (LIE) I NORMALLY INCLUDE, XD ok bye)