i greet you with my words,

feel free to greet me with your money! are you ready to undergo a colonoscopy? me neither!!!!! because im not going to!!! isn’t that funny? that was your cue to laugh. ROFL LMAO XD YOU SEE THAT IS FUNNY BECAUSE THE FACT I WAS EXPECTING YOU TO LAUGH AT THAT IS STUPID!!!!! MARK ZUCKERBURG KNOWS NOTHING OF META. do you see? it is funny because if he knows nothing about the concept of things being meta, why did he rebrand facebook to meta? god i love explaining jokes. its like gatekeeping humour. i am going to gatekeep my explanation of that :) 

thing #1: shoplifting

you know, until recently i didn’t consider shoplifting that big of an issue. like sure i was aware it happened but like now i am fully aware of how often it occurs. stores don’t just put alarms on stuff for fun!! they are actively fighting against the frequent shoplifting community of australia! did everyone else know about the frequency of shoplifting? am i just out of the loop? omg speaking of being out of the loop DOES EVERYONE ELSE KNOW WHAT A REAM OF PAPER IS?? apparently it is like the paper in the you know what i was going to explain it but i still dont know them well enough to explain them. they are paper. thats all i can say!

thing #2: harmonising

yes i am sure you might have been able to tell from my constant praise of the naiads mads performance (maybe i should abbreviate that considering the uncomfortable amount of times i’ve typed it out. NMP!!!! omg like xmp 😆) but if you didn’t, harmonising is my jam!!!!! that’s also why i love mashups. did you know i love mashups? because i do!!! i love weddings. i haven’t been to a wedding in so long. can one of you get married already? back to harmonising, i like feel it in my heart. i love the way harmonies like engulf me!!! they are so beautiful i can’t describe how they like fully enchant me. also i think i am like good at making up harmonies in my head. i refuse to prove it, i accept the fact i am a chronic gatekeeper.

thing #3: billie eilish

i was considering adding a segment on my past billie eilish obsession to see if it would annoy annie. but then i realised that was a strange thing to do. so i am giving you a disclaimer that this is just a recollection of the past and not an attempt to poke at annie’s temperament. i have a shirt!!! i have a big billie eilish shirt with her just like smack dab in the middle. omg no one says smack dab anymore 🙁 please join me in bringing it back. smack dab. maybe it’s because it has dab in the name. my sister gifted it to me after witnessing my billie eilish phase which i am still in! i loved copycat so much i made a glmv (gacha life music video) of it. which you can not view. more gatekeeping. see how self-aware i am? kids at my school used to call me billie eyelash. they actually were so tolerant of me tbh! yk i have a long rant about how like interests are becoming less significant that i will save for a later segment/date/whatever i feel like. i made custom backgrounds for my laptop. 

also a pfp. forgive me for the emo i was going through the motions ☠️ i love that phrase despite hating moving at all

i would like to show you what i was occupying myself with on my birthday, 2019.

i will now recite the lyrics of every billie eilish song i can be bothered to do. u can fact check if you’d like. if u find a mistake i’ll end you.

bite my tongue bide my time wearing a warning sign wait till the world is mine. visions i vandalise. cold in my kingdom size? fell for these ocean eeyeyeeyeyeyeyeyeyeyes. you should see me in a crown. your silence is my favourite sound. watch me make them bow? one by. one by one. one. one by. one by. one count your cards watch them fall. blood on a marble wall. i like the way the all l L l l l l L scream. tell me which one is worse. living or dying first. ???????? i don’t dream. you say come over baby…. i think you’re pretty…. i’m okay! i’m not your baby 👹 if you think i’m pretty…. vroom wake up and smell the coffee.. is your cup.. half full or empty.. when we talk.. you say it softly. but i love it when you’re awfully quiet!!! hmmMMHM!HM! i must be missing something.. they just keep doing nothing.. too intoxicated to be scared. we’re better off without them. they’re nothing but unstable. bring ashtrays to the table. and that’s about the only thing they share. I’M IN YOUR SECOND HAND SMOKE!!! STILL JSUT DRINKING CANNED COKE!! I DON’T NEED YOUR XANNY TO FEEL BETTER !!!!! everything i do.. the way i wear my noose like a necklace!!! i wanna make them scared. like i could be anywhere. like i’m reckless. i’ve lost my miiiiiiiiind i dont miiiiiiiind where’s my miiiiind where’s my miind dutdutdutdut MAYBE ITS IN THE GUTTER!! dont. be that way. fall apart, twice a day. i just wish you could feel what you sayyayayayy. show. never tell. but i knowww you too well. got a mood that you wish you could seelelellle. IF TEARDROPS. COULD BE BOTTLES. THERE’D BE SWIMMING POOLS. FILLED BY MODELS. TOLD A TIGHT DRESS IS WHAT MAKES YOU A WHOREEEEEEEEEEEEE IF I LOVE YOU. WAS A PROMISE. WOULD YOU BREAK IT. IF YOU’RE HONEST. TELL THE MIRROR. WHAT YOU KNOW SHE’S HEARD BEFOREEEEEEE I DONT WANT TO BE YOU ANYMOREEEEE happy birthday. by the way. it’s not you its me and all that other bullsh! you know that’s bullshi!!! don’t you babe… i’m not your party favor. if we were meant to be, we would’ve been by now. see whats you want to see but all i see is him right now. I;LL SIT AND WATCH YOUR CAR BURRRRRRN WITH THE FIRE THAT YOU STARTED IN ME! BUT U NEVER CAME BACK TO PUT IT OUT. my boy’s being sus he was. shady enough. but now he’s just a shadow. my boy’s an ugly crier. but he’s such a pretty liar. and by that i mean. he said he’d change. yk i forgot just how much i liked her!!! oh i hope someday.. i’ll make it out of here. even if it takes one night or a hundred years need a place to hide but i can’t find one near wanna feel alive. outside. i cant fight my fears!!!! no fair. you really know how to make me cry. when you give me those ocean eyes. i’m scareeeeeeeeeeeeeeed. i’ve never fallen from quite this high. falling into your ocean eyes. your ocean eyes. once the water starts to rise. and heavens out of sight. you’re talking about something that shouldn’t be said shouldn’t be said out loud. honestly i thought that you would be dead by now. ooohahha. calling security keeping my head held down. bury the hatchet or bury a friend right now. im so bored. giving you what you’re begging for giving you what you say I NEED i don’t want what i can’t afford. i just want you to love FOR FREE. can’t you see that i’m getting bored? giving you every piece of me? piece of me. i wish someone had told me i’d be doing this by myself.

okay i have been writing this for too long now. you know i think i am like really good at remembering lyrics. like have you seen me sing 3 hours worth of mlp? michelle has.

thing #4: wattpad

i have been a wattpad user since 2017. this means i have amassed quite the library. if you ever accidentally see it, i say accident because i know that i could never show it to anyone, please try to find it in your heart to forgive me. or younger me. actually that’s better. just pretend it was younger me and that i have since changed. you know its funny how i have not changed much. i feel like ive been the same person since like 2017! i know what i like!!!!! that being said i have changed in some ways, including whatever you find in my wattpad library! oh god i just realised i have been the same person since i joined wattpad. yay hive mind!!!!! yk i forget who but i was once like omg i havent read a smut in a while in like a hehe haha way but then they were like please dont read more. LIKE DO I SEEM LIKE THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO ONCE WAS ADDICTED AND HAD TO TEAR MYSELF AWAY?? BECAUSE TO CLARIFY THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM ASHAMED OF IN MY WATTPAD LIBRARY!! THAT IS NOT IN MY WATTPAD LIBRARY!! we used to group read smut in my youth. it was quite funny!!!! BUT THAT IS THE EXTENT OF MY SMUT READING!!!! I DID NOT HAVE TO GO TO SMUT ANONYMOUS. if you don’t know what smut is don’t search it up. if you search it up and you say “omg nicole!!! how could u present this to me!!!” i will call you a rebellious youth (derogatory).

thing #5: 2 day week

i do not like the fact that we are getting so many breaks in such a short period of time. like i am not getting the chance to get back into the school vibes and actually need a break! like first i had the whole covid stay at home thing and then like break and now this break! i am sorry that i am complaining but like what the heck!! why did they make the term shorter!! is anyone else annoyed with this? they should be spreading our breaks out! 

thing #6: tablet

i am very meticulous when it comes to buying (sometimes unnecessary) tech. because of this I AM HAVING VERY HARD TIME PICKING A TABLET!!! i don’t know if i should get an ipad or a galaxy tab. the pros and cons of both ARE VERY BALANCED OUT OKAY!! let me first show you this very true reddit comment advocating for the galaxy.

THESE ARE ALL TRUE POINTS! BUT FOR THE IPADS BENEFITS.

THEY ARE RIGHT!!! GENSHIN IS OPTIMISED FOR IPAD!!!!!!! most apps on it are. THERE IS PLENTY PROOF!! AND THEY ARE THE ONLY DEVICES WITH 120FPS SUPPORT. YK EVEN MY PC CANT RUN GENSHIN 120FPS BC HOYO DOESN’T SUPPORT IT!! theres probably work arounds but im not actually that fussed. also an ipad would be nostalgic for me!!! as someone who was raised on ipads!! you know i was on them since they came out? i am the perfect example on why raising ipad kids is not a good idea!!!!! AND THERE ARE MORE THIRD PARTY CASES AVAILABLE FOR THEM!! I WOULD BE SPOILED FOR CHOICE!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!! the fact i would have less like apps to download would probably like keep me less distracted in class too. ew that shouldnt be a plus 😭 i swear i have self control. i just dont find class important! one day this will change. i think. anyways! I COULD USE AN IPAD AS LIKE A SECOND MONITOR FOR MY LAPTOP!!!! basically all the ecosystem 🍃 stuff i can do.  okay now that im thinking about it this doesnt seem like many points compared to the galaxy BUT LIKE THE GENSHIN THING WEIGHS A LOT OKAY! 

i am trying to get the most value i can. and the whole 64gb base model thing is the biggest turn off for the ipad tbh 😭 and like not being able to sideload. HAVING TO PAY LIKE $200 MORE JUST TO GET A DECENT AMOUNT OF STORAGE SHOULD BE A CRIME. EU PLEASE STEP IN 🙏!

thing #7: sausage dog meetup

it is exactly what it sounds like. IT IS SO CUTE!! SO MANY DACHSHUNDS WERE THERE IT’S CRAZY!! omg all of them are just as sassy as alby and like one was wearing this fur coat and had their head like tilted up to the sky!! it was so funny!!!! omg and so many of them had such funny barks!! albi only made one friend because he is kind of a loser in the dog world. he will like go out and sniff all the dogs but if they ever try to say hi back HE RUNS BACK BETWEEN OUR FEET 😭!!! HE IS SO SHY!!! but! but but but

this is milo!!! he does not normally look like he does in this image my sister just paused disney+ when she never should!!!! and omg whenever a dog from a different breed would come over ALL THE SAUSAGE DOGS WOULD GANG UP ON THEM AND LIKE BARK UNTIL THEY GOT SCARED AWAY!! IT WAS SO FUNNY!!! AND LIKE ONE DOG EVEN CHASED THIS LITTLE GIRL ON A BIKE!!!! IT WAS SO FUNNY!!!! i enjoyed this experience.

thing #8: party tonight

ok like i had to pause this to play billie eilish’s pre-2020 discography through my head but a pause is not forever!!! going to write the lyrics bc they didn’t release them. thank you regular show for this masterpiece!! i feel like i am mentioning regular show a lot on this but that is because it is good and weird enough that no one will try to take interest in it. you should give party tonight a listen though!! it is so gang. here is the original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHT3OYzWT98&pp=ygUNcGFydHkgdG9uaWdodA%3D%3D and here is a fan-made extended version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ePJtjHXY3M&pp=ygUNcGFydHkgdG9uaWdodA%3D%3D.

[EPIC DUO ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF]

Your eyes staring into my eyes,

Who am I but a guy with two eyes on the prize,

And the prize in my eyes is ten times,

The surprise in your eyes as I kiss you goodnight,

Your smile is the fire that rocks my soul,

Gonna remember it until I grow old,

Because life is too short we gotta do things right,

So baby let’s just party tonight,

Baby let’s just party tonight,

[ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF!! COURETESY OF RIGBY!]

Come out on top,

With front of the line,

We’re here to rock out and have a good time,

Because the past is the past and the future is bright,

So baby let’s just party tonight,

Baby let’s just party tonight,

[Guitar Riff Again <3]

Your eyes staring into my eyes,

Who am I but a guy with two eyes on the prize,

And the prize in my eyes is ten times,

The surprise in your eyes as I kiss you goodnight,

Your smile is the fire that rocks my soul,

Gonna remember it until I grow old,

Because life is too short we gotta do things right,

So baby let’s just party tonight,

Baby let’s just party tonight.

LIKE ISNT IT SO GARAGE BAND CORE?? I LOVE IT?? WHY DONT PEOPLE HAVE GARAGE BANDS ANYMORE. I FEEL LIKE I AM MISSING OUT ON A CORE GROWING UP EXPERIENCE.

thing #9: fight or flight

not the conan gray song 😆 just the response thing! i have found that i am 100% a freezer. yes i sit on top of refrigerators and have ice cream in my veins. this rings true with like danger and also just like conversations i have noticed!!! this is incredibly scary for me!! because that means if something is about to happen to me i will literally not be able to do anything about it!!! so i might like suffer when i did not have to!!!!! this is why i need to hire a bodyguard. i could like ask them to like do my blinds!!! and like say it is because i do not want to injure myself doing so but it is realise because i cannot do my blinds!!! the same goes with like opening bottles. actually i have gotten better at that :) growth! me and opening bottles go way back!!!!

thing #10: ow and bl

i would like to take some time to complain about how i am in pain. first and most painful i have a stupid ulcer and i don’t know why!!!! my mouth hurts!!!!!! i do not want to speak!!!!!! second i like hit my shin(?) against a ladder and like LADDERS HURT!!! i am in pain. also like the whole cardboard cut thing that did not hurt other than a little in the moment but i would still like to mention it. omg like an honourable mention. my teeth kind of hurt too. im sure you should imagine my chompers in your head. do you know what they look like? and last but not least.. im feeling pain… on the inside 😔 :wilted_rose: ⛓️ /j. actually not /j. i am currently within a very unfortunate period of the month. i am sure none of you could guess nor understand… women aren’t real. the internal pain is.. a pain. 😆 anyway! on the topic of bl content. i get it now!!! i thought i would not get much enjoyment out of it as someone who is not a boy nor a love but like it just registers as romance!!!! romance is great!!! bl is great <3 after a certain ship i have grown to understand it better. no i am not a pro-shipper. it is very non-problematic. i love it. and i am gatekeeping it. 

im realising i have not followed up on a lot of the stuff i say “but that’s a story for next time” for and this is of great humour to me. yeah this has been one of the weeks of all time! i really need to start paying attention in class again. tomodachi life really took me away from school for a decently attractive second!! if i have not briefed u on how i am motivating myself into doing so, i am gatekeeping that fact as well. gatekeeping is my jam!!! im starting to get really tired of my educational institution!!!!!

lots of gang,

nicole <3 (i am less than three)